Posted on February 28th, 2009 by rihoum hind
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من المهم الإشارة والتطرق الى هذا الموضوع بالنسبة لكلا الطرفين
الزواج وفارق السن بين الزوجين
أولا نتكلم على فارق السن لما يكون الزوج أكبر من الزوجة وهذا يعتبر أمر عادي حتى لو كان الفرق أكبر بكثير بينهما فلا يعتبر مشكل وهذا ماتعودنا عليه,فكثير من الأهل وخاصة الذين مازال لهم تفكير قديم وتقليدي يأتيهم هذا الأمر عادي جدا أنا لاأنتقد تفكيرهم ووجهة نظرهم فلكل مجتمع تفكيره وعاداته التي تعودوا عليها,لكن تفكيرهم سطحي فلم يفكروا بما ينتج عن هذا الزواج خاصة اذا كانت العروس صغيرة ولاتدري هذه الخطوة المقدمة عليها,فهي تعتبر الزواج حفلة عرس وشهر عسل وأيام حلوة فقط,فهي لاتعلم أن هذه الأمور ليست دائمة فسيتم الانشغال بالحياة أكثر فأكثر ويوم بعد يوم تزول هذا الأحاسيس والمشاعرالجياشة نتيجة زحمة الحياة ومحاولة تحسين المستوى من أحسن لأحسن ,واذ بها تنصدم بالواقع المر وتصحى على مفاجأة أمر وتكتشف عدم التوافق بينهما فكريا وفي أمور كثيرة يختلفان فيها تماما,فهي فتاة في ريعان شبابها الحياة مفتوحة أمامها وتفكر في المرح والترفيه وعيش الحياة بكل معانيها,أما بالنسبة للزوج يعتبر هي الأمور انتهت بالنسبة له فهو الأن تفكيره أكثر عقلانية ونضج وماتفكر فيه الزوجة يعتبر بالنسبة له أمور صبيانية غير متعقلة وغير ناضجة في تفكيرها,فلا توافق فكري بينهم
فهنا يكون فرق شاسع بينهم في التفكير ونمط الحياة حتى في طرق المعاشرة الزوجية فيه اختلاف كبير
لذلك دائما أرى أن فارق السن بين الزوجين لايجب أن يتعدى سن معين في نظري لايجب أن يتعدى الفرق 8أو10سنوات حتى 10 سنوات فرق يعتبر كبير لكنه معقول يعني يكون الرجل اكتسب نضج أكبر
فكلما كان الفارق أكبر كلما كان الاختلاف أكبر وتصبح الحياة شبه مستحيلة,وأنا لاأعمم ليس كل الحالات تشبه بعضها البعض بالنسبة لهذا الموضوع ,لكن لو قمنا بعمل احصائيات بالنسة لهاته النقطة بالذات سنجد المشاكل الناتجة عن هذا الموضوع كثيرة وفي غالبية الأحيان تصبح الحياة مستحيلة بالنسبة لهم
أما بالنسبة لنقطة أن الزوجة تكون أكبر من الزوج تعتبر غير عادية بالنسبة لنا …الزوج يكون أكبر من الزوجة أمر عادي لكن العكس يعتبر أمر غير عادي وصعب تقبله ,وكذلك بالنسبة لهذا الأمر سيترتب عليه كذلك مشاكل بين الزوجين وتؤثر على حياتهما الزوجية بالسلب وليس بالايجاب,كالغيرة,عدم التفاهم, اختلاف الأراء,عدم الثقة,فهذه الأمور كل ماتفاقمت تؤثر على الزواج تأثير سلبي
فمن وجهة نظري ووجهة نظر الكثير الذين أقدموا على هذه الخطوة وسألتهم هل هم سعداء بهذا الزواج,فلا أقول لكم الكل ولكن الأغلبية ينصحوا الغير بعدم الاقدام على هذه الخطوة ودراسة الموضوع جيدا من كل النواحي قبل الاقدام عليه
لهذا نصيحة للشباب والبنات لاتركضوا وراء الحياة المترفة والمريحة والأمور الفانية ولاتهتموا لهذه النقطة وهي فارق السن أكيد ستعيشون في رفاهية ونعيم لكن ستفقدون معنى الحياة والحب مع شخص بسنكم وليس أكبر منكم كأنه اشتراكم بماله
فهذا رأيي ورأي البعض من الذين لهم تجربة في هذا الموضوع
فما هو رأيكم هل أنتم مع أو ضد هذه الفكرة سواء بالنسبة للزوج أو الزوجة ولماذا نعتبر لما يكون الزوج أكبر من الزوجة أمر عادي أما اذا كان العكس فيكون أمر صعب تقبله؟
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Tamara // Feb 28, 2009 at 4:03 pm
انا معك انه المفروض يكون الفرق بين الزوجين منطقي نوعا ما ….سواء الرجل اكبر من المرأة او المرأة اكبر من الرجل ….. دائما الفروق المبالغ فيها لا تكون لصالح احد فاذا الرجل بدو يتجوز اصغر منه ما تكون اصغر منه باكتر من 10 سنين اما بالنسبه للمرأة من وجهة نظري بحالة كانت اكبر من الرجل ما تكون اكبر من 3 سنين بس الزواج محكوم بالقدر يعني لا اعتقد انه في مرا بتكون بتخطط تتجوز اصغر منها بس لما بيوقع القدر ما بيطلع باليد شي